Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops