Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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