knock knock whos their a person

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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I walk into a bar...

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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You are joking right?

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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