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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

Womens rights.

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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