A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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knock knock go away!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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hi

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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