A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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these are shit

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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