- Anti Joke

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can