What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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pull my finger (farts)

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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