a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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a. why? b. because

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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