What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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A muslim is working quietly in his 3rd floor apartment complex bedroom. ~~~~ He's been working on high explosives for 8 months now, preparing to kill innocent people.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Women's rights

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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deez nuts

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops