Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops