- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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