- Anti Joke

What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children