Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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