Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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