Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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