An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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The american education system.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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