Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Take wrong turns

Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

so the weather's nice...

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...