What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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Atheism

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops