What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops