Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If youre African, why are you white?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

thumb_up thumb_down +26

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops