What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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God wrote this joke.................................

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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