Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Gale swallows.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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womens sports...

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Wumbo

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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