- Anti Joke

Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

your a vagina says you, your a booby

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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