What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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PENIS

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops