A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

spell backwards: taco cat

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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