There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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