When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

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Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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