How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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