Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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