A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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