Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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