What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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