What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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One day a man walked into a wall

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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