Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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1+2 = 6

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops