If you were a cactus, why?

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

The adventures of Helen Keller:

To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Asians look like they have down syndrome.

Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

Finding TWO worms in your apple.

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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