Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Smeg...

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops