Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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