Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

Why are trees green? I have no idea

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

This sentence is a lie.

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

How's the weather? Good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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