What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Blacks

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops