Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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