A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

m

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops