Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...