Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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