two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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q

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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