what did the old lady die of old age...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Tommy got neutered.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops