What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Banana Hamock.

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the sky is green no it is not

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops