A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Robin, Get in the Car

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops