How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

Massie is a fatass

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

hextech crafting too opieop

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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