A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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your face

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops