What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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