A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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The dewey decimal system

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Who invented apple? God

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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