Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops